In honor of National Suicide Prevention Awareness month, I wanted to share my journey. I have been battling my depression for a couple years now and at times it has been difficult, but I am strong and have bounced back. There have been a couple times in my life where I wanted to end it all. The pain was worse than the good most days. But I am glad I can say I beat that. I am stronger than taking that option, the easy way out. I am so thankful for my family who have kept me here and helped me. I am thankful for my friends for sticking by my side. Maybe this post will shock you but I’m here to say that a lot more people are battling with depression than you think. So please just be kind, because you don’t know what someone is battling on their own. If you are battling with depression yourself, my advice to you is keep fighting. You got this. You are stronger than you think, you are worthy, and you are beautiful. Please keep fighting, don’t give up. I am so glad I didn’t choose to end my life and I hope maybe this can reach someone in need of hearing what I have said.
October 10, 2020 (the day this pic was taken) seemed like a normal day for most, but for me it was deciding whether I wanted to live or die. From the age of 16 I have struggled with severe depression disorder and after all life’s ups and downs I had made a decision that I didn’t want to live but I couldn’t let my family go through that grief as I have witnessed first hand how terrible it can be. I decided to talk to my mother Tammy Yaeger and a close friend Angie Smith Wallace and told them that I needed help. The medication wasn’t enough. Therefore, that day I was put into a psychiatric hospital in Columbia, MO. The experience was rough, but eye opening and there I realized I wasn’t alone. I made multiple friends who struggle with the same issues as me and more. I spent a week there in the hospital learning and talking to doctors about my mental health. Shortly after, I started seeing a GREAT doctor in Cameron, MO named Dr. Geno. He had recently moved his practice from Brookfield to Cameron. He sat down with me and talked to me about all that I was feeling and put me on multiple different medications until we found the right one the was perfect for me. This process was rough and I felt defeated at times, but I kept on going. Today, I am doing SO much better. Mental health is a longggg road and journey to go through. I spent a year trying different medications to see which one best fit me. With the help of family, friends, and the wonderful Dr. Geno I now feel depression free most days! I guess what this post is trying to say is that you’re not alone. I have my story, and so many others have theirs as well. Don’t let your story end. Keep striving and get the help you deserve. If you don’t know where to start like I kinda was, Moms Breaking The Silence would be a great place to get resources and information. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here! Never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.